Sunday, July 15, 2012

Distractions

Yesterday, Diana got a small package from our alma mater, Drake University. The package contained a postcard welcoming her to the Drake Legacy Program. Basically, children of alumni get a break on tuition, and they're getting their foot in the door early.

At first I was amused, wondering if they'd be so eager to recruit her if they knew she was autistic. It was a little glimpse of normalcy, you know? Now, I am trying to distract myself from the depressing reality. I'm working on a genealogy project (data entry), listening to music in languages I can't understand, trying not to think about how Drake would erase her name from their database in a heartbeat, knowing they're wasting their time recruiting someone who is not college-bound, trying not to think about other parents who have children who will follow in their parents' footsteps... trying not to think about those parents who have normal children leading normal lives with normal worries and concerns...

Should I email Drake and tell them they're wasting money and time, since our child is a dead end for them? The mail won't stop if I don't, and every piece of mail they send her, every catalog extolling the virtues of small, private college education will be one more reminder of how my child (probably) won't have that experience. One more reminder of how my parental experience is so very different from that of the majority of my classmates...